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I told my boss I had a dentist appointment and ducked out to the Library Bar at the Royal York hotel, wondering if we’d find each other attractive or if he’d even show.
The man who arrived was at least a decade older than his profile photo.
My husband had been nothing but supportive of my new job.
He never complained when I got home late, which happened often. Most of them were off-putting, showing close-up photos of men’s erections or, worse, men with what I suspected were their kids and spouses.
Once I’d finished, I found myself sitting on my bed, a glass of red wine on my night table, my laptop resting on my thighs and my eyes fixed on the landing page of Ashley Madison, or AM as it’s known to regular users. The site listed dozens of available married men in my general vicinity: Nice Guy Oakville, etobicokedude, Fun_in_Mississauga, Burlington1on1.
But before I could view their profiles, I had to create one of my own.
But over the years, the frequency had decreased from three times a week to once a week, and it was routine and predictable.
Sometime after that, we started to share pulpy erotic novels with titles like I had recently turned 46 and dreaded hitting the half-century mark.“I can only meet during the day because I don’t want to risk hurting anyone at home. I will make you feel good and am sexually open to anything that doesn’t involve pain.I hope to hear from you.” I briefly contemplated replying, as he was an attractive man. I’m withholding my name to protect my marriage, but the people, the places and the dates are just as I describe.
It all began in the spring of 2011, after several bellinis at a Milestones with my best friend.
One of the pictures captured my blond, shoulder-length hair falling over one eye, my lips full and glossy, a tight, low-cut shirt emphasizing my cleavage.