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12-Jan-2020 01:03

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I get plenty of matches on Tinder, but within 24 hours around half of them un-match or block me after reading my profile.

Whenever I do start talking to guys who “stick around,” I make sure that they know I am transgender before meeting them.

Washboard-Abs-No-Face and unsolicited dick pics that most women, unfortunately, receive. Right as a transgender woman (I was born male, but identify and present as female) adds a whole new dimension to digital dating.

Since transitioning in I haven’t reacted positively to guys who hit on me in person because I haven’t mastered the art of telling them that we have “the same parts.” For the past three years, Tinder has been my gateway into online dating as a transgender woman.

As a transgender woman, my relationship with online dating is complicated to say the least.

With my accounts on Ok Cupid, Tinder, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel and Christian Mingle, I am subjected to the same kind of messages from Mr.

Thanks to Tinder, profile pictures say more than a thousand words—and actual words seem to be irrelevant on our profiles.

He was concerned about how his sexuality would “change.” I had another similar experience on a first date where a man greeted me, hugged me, then said he left something in his car.

After a couple of minutes, I got a text from him while waiting alone at our table that said he had to leave because my transgender status was giving him anxiety.

These are men who find me attractive, but are initially hesitant because of my trans-ness.

With these men, I went on dates in public at the movies, or a chill restaurant, and I was viewed as more than a new sexual experience—but I don’t think I was seen as potential relationship material either. We vibed well and there was sexual tension building during our dates. After a month, he reached out to me saying he couldn’t be with me because I am transgender.

As a 22-year-old grad starting a career in fashion (and hopefully, one day, my own size-inclusive clothing line), I am drawn to guys who are funny and ambitious.



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