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30-Jan-2020 10:33
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“Sending nudes is great fun; I haven’t had anyone to send them to me for a while and I kind of miss that adrenaline rush,” she says.
Unprompted nudes can have their place, she reckons, but “generally with someone who I’ve been chatting with or dating; I wouldn’t send them to a stranger”.
She says she receives way more than she sends and if she does return them, it’s under her own terms.
“When I’ve been asked [to send a nude] it’s off the back of an unsolicited pic from them and they’ve requested tit for tat – literally.
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“Theoretically people have more dating options than ever,” he says.“I admit the cubicle ones aren’t always the best, so sometimes I’ll do a decent one at home and save it to send to her on Friday.We love it.”Often overlooked is the normalisation of nudes and its effect on body positivity.Emma has never forgotten a piece of advice a male colleague gave her: “He told me not to unless I want all of a guy’s mates to see it too.
We were in our twenties but it’s stuck with me.” Not everyone is bothered about their pics reading multiple eyes, however.Marisa confesses she’s sent them since she was 17 – “Pretty grim thinking about it, but I fancied a boy and he asked for a picture and I wanted to impress him.”Amory, now in his late twenties, grew up with the internet and recalls being a horny 16-year-old in his bedroom with a tinge of regret: “I’m sure I sent loads of nudes, sometimes with my face in and often to people who in hindsight may not have been who they said they were.” Many people I spoke to about their nudes agreed featuring your face was a bad idea, unless in a long-term relationship or absolutely certain they wouldn’t be shared.Luke tells me the dating app culture, and trying to make sure his nudes were as good as the competition, led to an eating disorder.It can build excitement and maintain intimacy, no matter how far apart you are says Tom, who’s been with his wife for 15 years: “It’s become our regular thing on a Friday afternoon.
