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And the numbers behind this dilemma are substantial.
"Have patience and sit down with the person and try to talk ... It might be that they are having a flashback, for instance."I got upset, and he tried to talk to me about it, but I wouldn't talk about it," she says."I couldn't say what I wanted to, and he got frustrated." The impact of childhood sexual abuse on adult intimacy varies from person to person, but experts say Haney's relationship troubles are not uncommon.A sense of security may be totally absent, according to Paul Tobias, Ph D, a Los Angeles psychologist.
Abuse survivors and their partners should consider counseling, whether it's with a therapist, self-help group, or religious organization, says Judith Herman, MD, a psychiatrist on the faculty at Harvard School of Medicine.When those abused as children try to form adult romantic relationships, they can be affected by anxiety, depression, and poor self-esteem.Some have no sexual desire; others may have a high sex drive.Not everyone who was abused as a child reacts as Haney does, preferring casual sex.