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21-Dec-2019 03:58

For 50-plus types unwilling to walk — possibly rewalk — the path that leads to romance, rings and relocation, the prospect of a "friend with benefits" is looking less and less like a millennial indulgence.

After all, it gets awfully lonely waiting around for "the one." Perhaps you've decided that what you need at this point in your life is someone to talk to and laugh with — someone with whom you can share the sheets, but not the tax refund.

On the upside, the profiles are brief, which helps you to make decisions quickly.

The downside is that short profiles make it harder to figure out what a lot of people are looking for.

It's basically the first stop for those entering the dating world.

If you want to play the odds when it comes to online dating, you need to be swiping where everyone's swiping.

" At first, her disclosure strikes you as too much information.

But then it gets you thinking: You're single, too — what could be so bad about a casual night in bed with someone you like but don't love?

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Marilyn, a 57-year-old single colleague of mine, recently reconnected with someone she had worked with many years ago. "No," Marilyn said with a laugh, "it's better than that: I'm in like with him — and that's exactly where I want to be." She further confided that they planned to make their reunions "a regular thing — if four times a year can be called 'regular.' But I think that's about all I really want." Marilyn's casual approach to maintaining a friendship with benefits typifies the mindset of older folks who have reconciled themselves to having "great fun" even if it's "just one of those things." And episodic pleasure-seeking may be more common than you think: In The Normal Bar, a book I wrote last year with Chrisanna Northrup and James Witte, we reported that 61 percent of female survey respondents who had partners fantasized about someone they had met.

A few weeks later, she joined him for "a wonderful weekend" in his home state. (For men, the figure was 90 percent.) And should they be propositioned by someone they found attractive, 48 percent of the women (and 69 percent of the men) said they would be tempted to have sex outside the relationship.

Indeed, many surrendered to that lure in actuality: 36 percent of female respondents (but, surprisingly, just 21 percent of the men) had spent a night with an old flame, typically at a class reunion.

Is that a deplorably manipulative state of affairs?

Possibly — until you stop to consider how many of us are comfortable with being unpartnered but how few of us are willing to remain untouched.Also because women must message first, Bumble tends to weed out the slightly more insecure males.However the rate of overly confident males tends to be higher than I've seen on other apps.Further evidence of Roving Eye Syndrome came from a study of sexuality in the United States commissioned by AARP in 2009: It found that 6 percent to 8 percent of singles age 50 and up were dating more than one person at a time.



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